Judgement

No Judgement.

Those two words entered my head in a very calm and stern voice on our way to the funeral last week.  

I've thought about judgement a lot. Haven't we all?

It wasn't until I recognized how much I judged others and filled my mind with proper actions the judgee should take that I realized just how useless judging others is.

So much time and energy wasted thinking I knew what was best for someone else.  That's egocentric, negative and a sincere waste of my own time.

So I stopped doing it.  Slowly but surely.

For the people I felt I judged too much, who had lifestyles way different than mine and that I believed our spiritual paths wouldn't meet up again, I let them go.

For the family members and loved ones who I was concerned about but knew that the bond there was unable to brake I learned to deal with it and not invest my emotional energy and beliefs into hoping they'd steer themselves down my right path.

Sounds ludicrous, right?  "down my right path"

But that's the basis of judging...thinking someone should be living how you live,  or the appearance to others as how you live.

The opportunity to judge others comes up often though and I am constantly tested.  Most often I'm tested when I am in uncommon situations, like a child's funeral.

When I heard myself think "No Judgement" I thought, jeez, I'm not a monster....who the hell could I judge at a child's funeral?

Then I thought about children being there.
And some friends not being there.
And the response some people would have. Some could cry really loud and  maybe some would be stone cold.
What if someone showed up drunk.
Or arrived late.

Damn! I'm good at this judging thing!  I came up with all that in seconds!

My mind was preparing me and preventing me from letting the true message from the day be taken away from me.

While we are busy judging others, we are unable to see what is happening in that moment.

What the priest was saying.  The smell of incense. The sun coming through. The warmth from Ryan holding my hand.  My gf handing a tissue to our friend. The stupid fuzzball on my friends jacket (R later said I could pick it off, which I did without the guy noticing).  The beautiful voice the woman behind me had.

If I was busy judging all the people and *perceived* questionable things around me the entire message and importance from those moments would have been lost on me.  And that would have been a shame because the funeral was such a moving and spiritual experience.

I've recognized that the people that are the most judgmental are the ones with the most self doubt and feelings of being judged themselves.

I want to share that since I've been able to curb the judgement I no longer feel like I'm being judged.  Which may or may not be the case but it's lost it's hold over me.

My piece of advice: let the judgers judge and you spend your time and energy on something positive, like making your life as beautiful as you want it be.

Love,
Marcian