Saturday, August 17, 2013


We are on our way back from our annual family vacay.  Wanted to share some moments and things I learned.

*When staying at a rental house, figure out where the oven mit is prior to the oven buzzer going off.

*Remind Aa that you are out of cell service so if texts arent responded to, they werent received.

*Since you are roaming the entire trip, always bring your charger.

*Model sessions are fun but they wont happen often if your cell battery is dead.

*Never, and I mean ever, throw out an inch worm when your 4 yo isnt home.  He will come home and immediately ask where his friend is.  You will say "I threw him out".  He will start to cry.  You will say, "Honey, he was dead when we brought him in."  Your reasoning wont help, but make it worse.  

*When your husband puts his Mountain Dew fountain drink in the shopping cart and then knocks it over spilling it, dont think "what a jacknut" because you will feel bad when he insists on cleaning it instead of letting the cashier.  

*When you offer to make dinner one night (a month in advance), make sure you bring all of the ingredients.  Or, at the bare minimum, half.  

*No matter how intent you are to pack up  everything the last night of vacation, you will be too worn out from overdoing it the last day of vacation.  Remember that this will be the earliest night you go to sleep the entire trip.  

*There is no better entertainment for little boys than jumping off docks.

*The funniest burns are by a 2 yo.  Upon seeing a fish replica my parents in law made of one of the husband's catches last year the boy says "Adam's Fish!?!"  My husband's name is Ryan.  Adam is his fishing bud. Zinger!  

*Even if you bring your own pillow, your body wont get used to the mattress until 5 nights on it.  Bring Advil.

And the most important thing I learned, vacation for two weeks, not one.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


I shared with you all in the Stigmata post that I was diagnosed with PMDD and started to take Prozac.  I figure some of you may want an update since it's been 3 months and that post has been one of the most read posts. 

As I stated, I opted for the 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off medication plan.  Since my cycle was always very predictable it seemed fool proof to start right before my recognized rage days and take the meds for 2 weeks from then. 

My cycle hasn't been regular since.  It's been a few days early each month, which throws off my rage day calculation.  I do attempt to take the medicine whenever I feel it coming on but sometimes it sneaks up on me. 

As for the actual medication, I have had a lot of side effects.  Frequent urination, upset stomach (that's my classy way of saying I almost "s" my pants within a half hour of taking it), sleeplessness, muscle spasms (in my shoulder and calf...weird), and very heavy periods. 

The meds definitely take the edge of my rage but it's not much.  Which is annoying.  All of the side effects with only a minimized rage makes taking it seem unnecessary.  I haven't quit taking them yet because I do have that hope of it getting better. 

This morning was bad.  We are on vacation.  I'm in a beautiful place without a care in the world and my body is tense, sounds are too loud, my body is freezing, and I feel jacked up. 

I've been taking Prozac for 3 days now.  To the best of my knowledge, it hasn't helped today.  The boys feed off my negative energy.  They were bouncing off the walls this morning so I took them out on the deck.  Then they started fighting over leaves (hey, they're only 2 and 4), so I brought them in to feed them.  Then they started fighting over a train or something so I yelled at them.  A few times.  The husband comes out and asks if everything is ok.  I tell him I'm having a rage day so he takes the boys.  The kids are being annoying so I get upset or flustered.  Prozac can't stop that.  That's not what I'm looking for.  I'm looking to not feel jumpy, scattered, pissed off, on edge, ready to snap, and freezing cold.  All while also feeling exhausted.  Ugh.

I think since being diagnosed the thing that has helped most is the actual diagnosis.  Knowing that it will happen each month around the same time until probably menopause.  This fact instead of my confusion before that it was full blown depression.  It would sneak up on me and I would have no idea where it came from or if it would stick around or what. 

At least now I know it will pass fast.  And that my medication plan doesn't work.  I remember the first round I thought what's the point of being on it if it only helps a little.  My husband said to give it time to build up in my system.  I may do that.  Go to 1 a day.  Doesn't seem appealing, especially with the side effects.  Countering those side effects with more drugs isn't an option. 

I may try working out too...that's supposed to help.  I'm sure that will be inexpensive and easy to get myself and the kids to and from often enough for it to work.  Oh wait, it wont. 

This should be a fun reread for me.  Hope it provides insight to anyone who has been wondering how my magical cure has been working.  If anyone has anything to offer up, please do so.