Monday, February 25, 2013


I believe a lot of my friends enjoy having me around because they never know who I am going to insult and to what extent.  Seriously kids, I've had my foot in my mouth followed up by kicking myself in the arse so many times that there should be a viral video on YouTube.  The video clip and dance move could be called "The Marcian".  It's kind of like the running man, but not really at all.

Fortunately for me, my groups of friends are tight enough where we all know that when this happens, if I don't catch it myself, the calling out by someone there is appreciated.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not a mean girl and my offenses are never intentionally to hurt someone.  I just tend to be very filterless.

That's the curse of the quick wit.  Learning when to use it, not use it, and on who(m?).

My bmf (best male friend) actually saved my relationship with the husband about a decade ago by teaching me that lesson.  Since our friendship began my bmf always gave sound advice on jobs, friendships, money, etc.  You name it, he had the answer.  I actually referred to him as my consigliere during my mafia obsessed days.
He and I worked together at a mortgage company after already being close friends for over 5 years.   Each morning we would forecast our work day over coffee.  And by "forecast our work day" I mean I would seek advice from him about whatever was bothering me personally. 

On one particular day my relationship bothered me.  Not normally one to seek relationship advice, especially from a guy, I decided to confide in my bmf.  Something had to give.  I was at my wit's end (haha) with the digression in my relationship and was fearful for the future, or potentially lack thereof.  

I asked my bmf what he thought the deal was. I started to get comfortable in my seat expecting a long pause for him to ponder.  Surprisingly he immediately responded with, "Have you ever thought of not making him the butt of all your jokes?"  

I didn't get it.  

He had to further explain, "Just because someone does or says something that triggers a witty comment, doesn't mean you have to say it." 

Me = Blank stare

Bmf "Stop being a b*tch".  


I got it then.  Up until it was dumbed down for me I never realized joking about someone could get old.  But upon further examination, and putting myself in the recipients place, I realized just how upsetting it could be.

Even though I wasn't intentionally being mean spirited, constant little jabs were turning into for real bruises.  

I do try to curb how much wit I use now.  But if you guys just stopped laughing, I wouldn't do it all.  Jk, that will never happen.


  1. There is that line where wit dissolves into something a little too sharp. Sometimes people have a hard time seeing the line. We are lucky to have a good friend, like you do, to lend us a pair of glasses from time to time!
    (grown and flown)

    1. In the moment it can seem funny and harmless but looking back there should never be any guilt or question of meanness. Glad I'm not the only one who has friends with glasses. It's nice to have people that soften the rough edges. Thanks for connecting, Mary!


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