Wednesday, February 13, 2013


I was 22 and we were at around the 2 and a half year mark in our relationship.  

He asked a couple weeks in advance what we should do.  And although I told him Valentine's Day was for suckers and doesn't need to be celebrated in our relationship, there was that modicum of hope that the red carpet treatment would be rolled out.  That there would be some surprise evening with a limo, champagne, dinner, and a hotel room.  Something big.  Something elaborate.

So, VD (Valentine's Day, not venereal disease) arrives and drags on while I receive and distribute dozens of flowers to the ladies in the office that I secretaried.  I desperately hope that each dozen is for me.  False!

I convince myself that he didn't send flowers because he was concerned that the single lady in my office would be the only one who didn't get any.  Or, his flowers didn't make it through the gate because of our heightened security after September 11th (which did happen to some florists).  And he didn't call because he wants me to be irritated with him and then he can surprise me.  All of these thoughts, and more, rolled through my mind the entire day.

I left the office in Arlington and drove the hour commute to his place in Fairfax.  I got to his apartment, knocked on the door and waited to be greeted with something magical!

The door unlocks (I'm grinning from ear to ear), it opens, he says "Hey, babe." and turns around to sprint to the living room.  That kind of annoyed me but I assume there was some gift or production waiting in the living room.  He had to have done something, even though I told him not to, right? Confused I make my way down the hall.

I get into the living room and he's sitting on the floor with his roommate playing Grand Theft Auto.  Really!?  I flop onto the couch pissed to the max.  His roommate says, "What's up, Marcia?".  Me, "Nothing". I never respond with one word.  I talk like I write, ramble city. 

The rage was building up inside of me and I wanted to break something.  I tried to decide what I could do to release my anger when the boyfriend interrupts, "Can you go grab me a beer from the fridge?".

I stand up and as I'm walking to the fridge the thoughts are, "Oh, yea, I'll get your bleeping beer and then I will shake it up and spray it in your face, throw the can at your head, then go find some other guy to treat me proper."  "I can't believe this bleep bleeper.  Seriously, less than 3 years with this bleep and this is the way he treats me".  By the way, the fridge was literally 15 feet from the couch but that's how rapid fire my aderaline crazed thoughts were running.

I open the fridge and right in the middle rack (with another rack removed) there is a vase and a dozen beautiful roses.  I'm not sure how long I stood there staring at them wondering what was happening until I heard my boyfriend and his bestie giggling.  He set me up.

I started laughing.  It was mean, but it was really funny. 

My husband is a very literal man and I know that now (took a while though).  I told him not to do anything but he went above and beyond to surprise me.  Good thing!

When I want or need something now, I literally ask him.  It works for us.

Happy VD everyone!  Hope you get what you ask for ;)

November 2012

Other relationshipy posts about my Valentine for life:


  1. I love this post. And I'm about to announce that you just won the #gnomes! Get psyched! ;) Will you send me your snail mail address? Check my blog for contact information re: email!

    1. Best. Valentine's. Day. Ever! Thanks, Renee! My boys will love them! You are making up for so many years of emotional torment from this stupid holiday!

  2. You had me on the edge of my seat here, Mama! Thank goodness this had a happy ending! Happy Valentine's Day Marcia! Great lesson! Expectations are the key...if you want something, we gotta tell them :)

    1. It still would have been a happy ending if I sprayed him with beer! ;) I'm glad you also know the key to a successful marriage, Jen. Asking for what we want takes the excitement out of it but who needs excitement when you have toddlers (and stability). Happy Valentine's Day Lover!

  3. Oh my gosh, the whole time I was reading, I kept thinking "please, he HAD to have gotten her something!" Haha! That was a good set up :) Hope you had a great Valentine's Day this year as well. And I am totally with you, I will hand or email my husband detailed lists of what I want for Christmas, etc and ask him to do the same. Takes some of the excitement out of it but as much as I would love for him to read my mind, I learned that lesson long ago, it only leads to disappointment. Communication works so much better!

    1. Amen, Anna! Communication is so key! It is a tough lesson to learn but once it is, there is a lot less heartache. My husband does surprise me sometimes randomly and that is very special. Hope you had a great one!

  4. Oh - I love the picture you posted as well - you look so beautiful!


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