Thursday, February 28, 2013


The owner of one of the companies I used to work for regularly attempted to motivate his employees with the order, "Don't ever say "I'll try to do it" to me.  Just say "I'll do it".  Saying "try" implies that you may not succeed."  He was a dip stick.

Initially we have to try everything.  We try new foods, new shows, new activities.  We try to be better people, we try to understand and we try to have compassion.  

About a month ago my husband and I had a talk that happens every year.  The timing of this talk occurs with such precision you would think it was written on our calendar.  *Yet it still surprises me every time, until retrospection.*

I said I thought I was doing better this winter and asked for specific instances of when he felt I was too down.  He gave me some examples, which all made sense.  We ended the conversation with my statement, "I'll try harder.".

For anyone suffering from depression please dont misconstrue my "try harder" to mean I will try not to be depressed.  As written in past posts, awareness of depression is what jump starts the healing process in my case.  When I finally recognize it is happening again then adjustments can be made to my diet, sleep schedule, vitamin B intake, exercise (and by exercise I mean walking), and exposure to negative people and/or activities.  When I said I would "try harder" it meant to recognize when I can take better care of myself and attempt to lessen the lows with the personal remedies mentioned above.  

Fast forward a couple weeks to a conversation where my husband became the subject in need of some work.  As we talked I mentioned I had tried to work on the things we discussed and asked if he noticed an improvement.  He said he did.  We talked more about the issue and then he said, "I'll try harder."

For some reason, instead of my husband's usual "I'll do better", his "I'll try harder" had more of a positive impact on me.  Maybe it's the arrogance of assuming we can just do it, instead of trying.  Trying takes effort.  Saying I'll do it makes it seem like it is an easy and quick fix.

"I'll try harder" could be the most powerful words my husband has ever said to me.  And you know why, because he is trying.  And he is succeeding.  He turned trying into doing and that makes me so proud.

Inspiration for this post came from Jen at Life on the Sonny Side's entertaining post and Pink's song "Try".  


  1. I totally agree with you on this chickadee! Hearing the word "try" implies a more serious intention for some reason to me too. Thanks for the shout out too! XOXO

    1. Of course, doll! I read your post a couple days after our talk and saw what you wrote about how your husband tries to do better. Totally made me reflect. We are very lucky gals!

  2. I am struggling today and had a feeling if I headed over your way, there would be something here to sooth, something I just needed right now, you did not disappoint. I love the communication and honesty between you and your husband. Try is a powerful, meaningful word - I totally agree. It's saying "I WANT to do better, be better, be more and I know it won't be easy but I'm willing to put forth the effort anyway." So awesome! This winter is continuing to kick my butt as well. I'm also continuing to figure out how to rise above and trying to be more present and less depressed for myself and loved ones. Hope your tries are getting easier, sounds like things are working :) Thank you for sharing this post. Beautiful!

    1. Anna, it means so much to me that when you were down you thought to visit here. That sentiment is so kind and thoughtful for you to do, and sharr. I'm sorry you have been having a difficult time too. The silver lining to the winter blues is knowing that it exists and that no matter how bad it sucks, we will get through it. We have every other winter! Sending sunny vibes your way Mama!


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