Monday, January 21, 2013


One of my husband's friends went to a meditation meet up a couple weeks ago before we had our Redskins/Seahawks party.  He told me a bit about it and I told him I was totally interested in attending.  We arranged to meet there yesterday morning.

It started with introductions, then we had the 30 minute meditation, and then a brief discussion.

After the meet up was over I spoke with one of the guys who has been with the group for a couple months.  He asked if I would come back.  I told him I already knew before attempting the shut eyes part that I would be back.

This was the first group experience I have ever been in where I didn't get bubble guts about speaking.  My fear of public speaking, no matter the size/casualness/length of speech, has always been crippling.  What are they thinking about what I'm saying?  Are they judging me?  Why are they staring so intently?

So in this group of complete strangers I explained why I was there and then participated in the conversation after about my personal experience.  No rummy in my tummy, no flushed cheeks, no sweating or trembling voice.  Also a first, I was actually able to listen to what everyone else had to say because the fear of speaking wasn't there causing me to only focus on me.  Beauts!

The actual meditation, eyes closed part, lasted 30 minutes.  The instructor had us start by visualizing ourselves sitting in front of us and sending love and kindness to our image.  We focused on sending these messages through him saying about 8 prompts like 'may you find true happiness' and 'may all of your hurts be healed' with long pauses between.  We first visualized ourselves and then moved on to visualizing someone we love, someone neutral (that was you, Anna, did you feel the love?), someone we hate, and then every human being.

In the post meditation discussion one of the attendee's (who has been meditating for decades) asked myself and another first timer girl how we physically felt while meditating.  I explained that my right foot (the one I broke last year) fell asleep a couple times and my back hurt a bit but nothing like I would have imagined for a half hour of sitting.  I also explained that a couple outside thoughts came in and instead of berating myself, I let them go.  From what I've read about meditating it is important to just return to focus if your mind starts to drift.  If you start looking into where the thought came from or feel bad for "thinking" then it will spiral and lead to more outside thoughts.

On the drive home I realized this is what I've been looking for.  During early 20's wasted face religion convo's I would be the one that fought for the importance of attending church.  It wasn't the organized religious teachings I thought were important, it was taking an hour out of each week to sit in silence and think about something other than my life.

The difference between attending Catholic church and this meditation group is the feeling of accomplishing something positive.  Don't get me wrong, now that I can comprehend some of the churches readings I am able to get some meaning out of it.  But with this meditation practice it felt like, instead of being taught a lesson through intimidation, I was being taught a life long skill that can be used to help heal myself, which will assist in loving and being more compassionate to others. 

Cant wait to go back!  If there are any local yokels that want to attend, holler!  I can give more detail (if this wasnt wordy enough) if you have any questions.  


  1. Oh my gosh, I don't know where to begin! This sounds so awesome, I'm so glad you had this great experience. I have those same feelings about speaking in front of people I don't know - flushed cheeks, sweating, trembling voice. This must have been an amazing group and just "right". Am I the Anna you were talking about? Because I did feel it this morning as I was doing yoga and then sat in meditation after for a short time. I was thinking I felt good but like, really good - it was you :) Thank you so much for thinking of me!!! I really love how you were guided to imagine yourself and send love and kindness to your own image and then to others. So beautiful, can't wait to hear about your next meetup!

    1. It was 100% you, Anna! I wanted to tell you last week I was going and would think about you but thought that would be silly because you aren't supposed to think. I'm so glad this was my first experience and that it was guided. When he said to picture someone neutral you were the gal who came to mind! Glad you felt the light I shined towards you :). Thanks so much for encouraging this new practice, soul sister! It is something that will improve my life immensely and your guidance was a huge reason for finding the courage to start! Mwah!


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